Backseat Positivity
"Able to make serious topics lighthearted and fun - I even laughed at some points!"
Get your bi-weekly dose of positivity in this fun podcast with Dr Dawn Barlow, who helps you navigate all of the weird/best/worst parts of life!
Dawn takes you on the self-improvement journey you didn't realise you needed... Bought to you by a doctor who hasn't had life as sweet as many of her comrades. She knows firsthand just how rubbish life can be, yet has managed to turn her life around for the better!
From relationships to mental health to happiness, make sure you buckle up twice a week (Mondays and Thursdays) the join her and her guests for candid self-improvement. Don't forget of the course, the "weird thoughts" segment, where Dawn and her guests share weird thoughts from their lives.
Dawn says:
Sometimes life reminds me of being in a washing machine. It's a bit spinny and turbulent for a while, but then it stops and gives you a little break before spinning you into oblivion once more. It feels like the washing machine wants to wash something bad out of all of us... positivity.
Some might EVEN say that positivity is shouting from the backseat and no-one wants to listen to it... [backseat positivity] More than once a week, but less than 4 times a week, you can shove me in your auditory canals and listen to me chat about L.I.F.E., self-improvement, mental health and anything else that my little monkey-mind paws can grasp onto.
Sometimes other humans actually dare to join me.
It's candid, it's fun. Woo!
Backseat Positivity
Embracing Solo Travel: A Journey Through Asia with Tips on Mental Well-Being and Social Connections
Seize the day—that's my mantra after a financial windfall catapulted me into the thrilling unknown of solo travels across Asia. Packing my bags with excitement and a new iPad (the role of which will be revealed in due course), I embark on a journey that promises to be as rich in cultural experiences as it is in personal growth. I'm taking you with me—from the lush Indonesian jungles to the bustling markets of Thailand—while sharing nuggets of wisdom on how to stay mentally healthy when the road gets lonely or overwhelming.
Travel is as much about the places you see as the people you meet. I reminisce about heartwarming encounters, such as the instant photo that bonded me with two girls in Amsterdam, and I let you in on my strategy for keeping accommodations flexible. It’s not all spontaneity, though—some gems like Komodo National Park require a dash of planning. Throughout these tales, I share how my medical background has unexpectedly turned into a superpower for striking up conversations in hostels, and I dish out advice on choosing the right hostel vibe for your social butterfly or lone wolf tendencies.
But let's not gloss over the rough patches. Tackling anxiety and homesickness is part and parcel of any long-term travel, more so when you’re on a solo expedition. I open up about my coping strategies, from choosing a cozy taxi ride over the crush of public transport to carrying a little piece of home wherever I go. And when the yearning for familiar voices kicks in, I've got a trick or two for making the most of modern communication to keep the homesickness at bay. So tune in, and let's unravel the fabric of solo travel together, with all its highs, lows, and the beauty of discovering oneself along the way.
Please consider helping me out, I'd seriously super appreciate it! <3
https://www.patreon.com/diariesofadoctor
I'm pretty damn excited. I'm not gonna lie, because when this episode goes out I'm currently recording this a month before this episode is going to go out, and the episode is going to go out on I don't really know, but sometime in March and I am either going to be on a plane somewhere in a different country in Asia. So hello to me, um, future me. Basically, I'm finally going and like actually living my life again, like I wanted to. I was owed a lot of money and I got paid a lot of that money and, as a result, I actually have money now so I can go and like travel and live my life and not just sit at home and go to work and then come home and cry. Basically because I was like crying, because I was like all I do is go home and go to work and come home and cry and that was literally my whole life. Oh, and obviously podcast and you know edit videos and you know like daily life stuff, but like I wanted to go and explore the world. I'm not young forever. So you know, don't wait till you're retired, because I've seen a lot of people they get old. They're like whoa, I'm gonna go live my life now I'm gonna go do it. I'm gonna go and explore, I'm gonna like relax and do things, and then they get cancer and then they die, or they get something else horrible and then they die, or or their partner gets really ill and then they can't go, or they have to do it alone, and so what I'm getting at is don't wait till you're retired, but I thought I'd do like a traveling section. However, I never done this before. Well, probably because I thought traveling was just off the table for me. But now I'm back. I'm back on the traveling game and I'm quite an extensive traveler. Should I say that like should I tell you my information, my credentials? I've been to most parts of the world. The parts I haven't been to are Australia, new Zealand, like Oceana area, and like the Americas they're my two to be tackled South America and America. And next, I'm telling you they're coming later this year, coming to a cinema near you, but for now we're doing Asia again. I don't know why I'm doing it again, but it's fucking lovely. So I should probably be in when this comes out, like I'll be in Indonesia or something. I literally just applied for my visa. So, as long as they accept me. You know, I assume they will, because they're like we want the money and then I'll be going to the Philippines, and then I'll probably be going to Thailand, maybe a bit Cambodia, maybe a bit of Laos anyway, I don't need to rub it in.
Speaker 1:So these are my traveling episodes. So I thought, why haven't I done this before? So I'm like, right, let's do them now. Why have I not thought about this like it honestly shocked me. So today's episode, after that very long introduction into my traveling series, it's because I'm excited. I basically I just bought a new iPad for traveling. I know that's such a fucking first world gap year thing, isn't it? But you'll find out why you will. So today is all about how I look after my mental health whilst traveling alone. It doesn't necessarily have to be alone. In fact, I have traveled not alone before. Let me tell you where I've been. Okay, christ, when I was younger, I went to Canada, but I'm not really like traveling like I went there with on a family holiday. I did so when I was in. This might not be very exciting, but when I I actually did some podcast episodes on this.
Speaker 1:When I was in medical school, I went and worked in Greece and Cyprus, so I stayed there for three months each and I did that for two summers and then I did some traveling as well. So I went to Thailand in that time and then in like f1 and f2, like just when I qualified as a doctor, I basically did like all of Europe. I was like right, europe, I'm coming for you. I did pretty much one time I did like three countries in a row and then I flew back and then I would just do that like because Europe is so cheap for us to fly there, I was just like bam bam bam and I was like I got the coach between the countries and it was all good in the hood. So I did like Austria, czech Republic. I've obviously done France, germany, italy, spain, portugal. Anyway, I did loads of places like Poland, hungary, yeah, austria, those kind of places, and the Czech Republic, and there are a few places I haven't been in Europe. But once you've done a few European countries, they all they're all kind of the same, like nice little castle, quaint, little you know towns, and then also there's a lot of places in Europe that are a little bit unsafe and a lot of places in the Middle East that I obviously haven't been, because they're unsafe and I don't plan on going there. There are also quite a lot of places in Asia that I haven't been. So then I went traveling.
Speaker 1:Oh, I forgot, at the end of medical school I went traveling. I went to South Africa. I did my elective there as a medical student, where you work in hospitals. There I saw a lot of crazy things and mainly people getting stabbed and shot and run over. And Then I went to Vietnam, malaysia, singapore, we did those three in one. And then I did some expedition medicine. So I went to Morocco and I went to oh fuck, where is it? Oh, tanzania, tanzania. So I've done a bit of Africa, and then it continues. And then we went to Norway over COVID. I also went to Gibraltar and then we just went to Tenerife. So now I'm going back to Asia, going back, going back we. Yeah, I'm going to, like I said I already said where I'm going Blah, blah, blah, nobody cares.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I would say traveling alone can be quite scary. It can also be really like anxiety provoking. I went and did a festival on my own terrifying, I think that was probably, you know, the alcohol and everything like that and feeling kind of lonely but like not alone, lonely but not alone. So you know, I've experienced a lot of things, and some of those places that I just said to you I did actually travel to alone Many places. I did actually Many places. I really don't know how I'm still alive because I did a lot of like really stupid stuff. Anyway, one of my next episodes, the third episode in this like travel series, is how I look after my safety and possessions whilst traveling in dangerous areas. So I, that's coming up. So I don't need to tell you how I almost died several times because it's coming up soon and I'm very excited for that.
Speaker 1:But probably the biggest thing is when you're traveling alone, looking after your mental health. The biggest things that you're going to face are number one, loneliness. Number two, the opposite of loneliness, which I can't think of what that is, but it's like social overwhelm, I suppose, like too many people, and that's quite common in, like Asian countries. There's a lot of people, or, if you're going to a city, a lot of people. Number three is like meeting new people. That's another thing. Um, so I'm just, I'm going to talk and there's some more, but I don't want to just like tell you everything and won't go. So I'm just going to like I'm going to cover those things first and then we'll move on. So loneliness I? To be honest, the only time I've really experienced loneliness when I've been traveling was when I was at a festival.
Speaker 1:Now, the main problem is everyone at a festival. I wouldn't really call it traveling, but I did travel there, so I'm going to count it. Um, the main issue at a festival is everyone's with their friends. The difference is, when you go traveling, like to another country, and you're in like a traveling destination, you're not like on a holiday, like they're different things. When you go on holiday I'm talking like you go to I don't know Tenerife, for example I would say it's more of a holiday country than a traveling country. There's a difference. I know there's a difference. It's crazy so and I don't really know how to explain that, but like there are places where people go on family holidays and there are people where there are places where people won't. If you go, I mean like you just have to sort of figure that out.
Speaker 1:So I yeah, I felt lonely when I was doing, when I went on to the festival on my own. It's a bad idea. Don't go to a festival on your own, unless you are. I'm a very confident person, but I'm also like I felt very angst, as I call it. I felt very angst.
Speaker 1:So when I go traveling like actual traveling now we're talking about I think people would worry that they would feel lonely. But I tell you what everyone is so much more receptive to accepting randos pretty much into their group. It's a very different atmosphere. It's like you know you go and then, like you'll meet some people and, to be fair, I've met like two people who are traveling together and then I've been like a person on my own and I'll like go and do stuff with them and that's not unheard of like. I have done that quite a few times and I've been fine with that. And then you kind of have to just accept that you're probably going to go in your separate, on your separate ways and do your own thing and you might not ever see each other again.
Speaker 1:In fact, I actually found a picture of two girls who I met whilst I was in Amsterdam. That was another place I went when I went on my European travels, when I went to Amsterdam, and I've kept it because it was like an instant, instant picture and I don't know why they were so cute. And they, like they said let's take a picture of us, and and like I don't know, I've just still got it and it was from. I want to say like, oh, it must be 2018 or yeah, it was probably about then. 2018, 2019, it was before COVID, obviously, and like I can't, the names are on it as well. They like wrote their names on it fucking cuties, aren't they? They were a bit younger than me and but they were like fine and they they were I can't remember where they were from, but anyway, it doesn't matter Like.
Speaker 1:And then I met some. They were in the same room as me. It was like a female-only dorm. There were four beds, but there was only three of us in there, and then two other people like they swapped, and then two American girls came. Now there's two American girls that came were completely different. They were like blonde hair. One was like a supermodel, basically, like all the boys loved her, and she had like legs taller than me, so I felt like a little hobbit, basically, and she like flounced around like looking beautiful, and so did the other one, and they were like really like loud and like they were just so different.
Speaker 1:So the good thing about meeting people when you're traveling is that you can just if you are tired of them or if you're kind of done, or or the opposite if you want to stay with them for longer, you can do that. You know, if you, if you haven't got any plans, I think probably the good thing to do is not to make firm plans for the whole of your travels. So what I've done is I've booked my flight there to Indonesia and I've done this quite often and it's fine and then you book your first night and then you just you go okay, where should I go tomorrow? And then you just book it whilst you're there. There's often wi-fi. You can just connect to it, book an airbnb or whatever for the next day or the next couple of days, and then just make it up as you go, like it's, it's, you know, as long as you're fine, like sort of going anywhere, like you're not, like no, I need to go to a five star place, although the five star places are not going to be sold out, don't worry. It will be like the budget places or like medium places that are more sold out. Then you're probably fine, just leaving it to the last minute and also, I just book the leave, the travel.
Speaker 1:Unless there's some things you are like I will not be happy unless I leave this country without having done this. Ie, for me, I want to go to the Komodo national park in Indonesia and if I don't go there and I leave Indonesia, I will be a bit sad. So I'm going to book that in advance. There are certain things that you should book in advance, like that, if you're like I'm dying to go there, the only reason I'm going there is because of this or you know, I will feel sad if I don't go, then don't leave that until the last minute and you can kind of book. You know you'll travel around it. So I've booked my flight out of Indonesia and then I haven't yet booked my flight home. So it's just like I don't know what's happening yet, but it'll be fine, it'll be all right. So, yeah, um, that's really. That's kind of like meeting people.
Speaker 1:Loneliness again, I don't really get that lonely. I think you have to be if you're not the kind of person who can't talk to anybody. That was a lot of double negatives. I'm very sorry. If you are the type of person who struggles to speak to people that you don't know not me, I'm very much the opposite that I can talk to fucking anyone. But that's because I'm a doctor and I talk to literally everybody every day and I ask them they're you know some very intimate questions and I just it's just like normal for me. So when I meet like normal humans in a normal human environment and then I ask them like really personal questions, I think people are a little bit like oh, I've taken a back by that, my friend. But then I'm like I'm sorry, I have to explain. I'm like I'm sorry, I am a doctor, so I like ask people very personal questions and it sometimes just doesn't register with me. I'm very sorry about that.
Speaker 1:So if you're the kind of person who struggles with that, if you go stay at hostels now, just find a really nice hostel that's got good reviews and is fairly, like you know, inexpensive and it's um, like a, it's got really good reviews, like it's safe and it's really sociable. Find like a social hostel, not a party hostel. Party hostels sound great. Yeah, they are.
Speaker 1:If you are a party person, and if you are with somebody else, I would say, because I've been to party hostels and you, it's kind of a little bit awkward to start with, because everyone's there partying with their friends and then it's kind of hard to like get to know everybody, whereas if you go to like a social hostel, I would say they're different things. If you go to like a more social hostel, then you can. You know they put on like events and you can go to those and you can meet people there and you can meet people in like a situation that's easier to talk to them, not like a fucking party which you're like hello and you know there's always a language barrier because everybody speaks English, but like then you add in drunk and then you add in like loads of noise and lots of people shouting over each other and then it's like that. You know, although everybody speaks English, it gets more difficult.
Speaker 1:So, um, yeah, I've had some really great like you know, you go to the events and you start at the beginning like go to go at the beginning, don't go like two hours in, because if you go two hours in, everyone's drunk, everyone's met everybody already and then you just turn up like hello, I'm a random person, um, I haven't been here the whole time and yeah, you can go on like barcrawls or you can. They just have. Like some of them have really chill events like beer tasting or like um, I don't know, watching a movie or something like that, and it's kind of fun because it's like, oh, you're with like people that could be your friends, you know, like you could like them. But also, equally, if you don't like them, you can just leave, leave them alone and go go on your own journey. And that's the best thing is, when you go with somebody and you know you're with them for like four weeks, it can get a little bit like, oh, my god, I'm kind of a bit done with like hanging out with you 24, seven, sharing a bed with you, you know, sharing the fucking toilet with you, like everything, eating all my meals with you. It can get a bit exhausting, even if you're really good friends. So I tell you what some of the best times I've had when I've been traveling with friends is when we've gone our separate ways for like a day and then come back and we just like it's like great again, you know, because you've spent time, you've decompressed away from that person. So yeah, if you're, if you're struggling with loneliness or you are, I have been to some hostels before or I've that aren't social, really hard to meet anybody, or so a hostel like air bnb's, like you're not going to meet anybody.
Speaker 1:If you go to an air bnb, like you need to go to a hostel. And some hostels are really nice, like the only difference is you have like a shared kitchen, shared like living area, but you can get private rooms like you don't need to slum it out in a dorm if that's like not your vibe. Or I've stayed in some really good pods before. I say pods plural. I've stayed in one pod but it was good, you know, it's like. You know you get your own privacy. What I don't like is like having an open room where it's just like everyone can just watch me sleep or whatever. And another thing is to make sure that the play. If you stay in a dorm, then it's got like lockers and shit. And that was a really good bonus for my, the place that I stayed in in Edinburgh. So, yeah, pod I've talked about. Oh, okay, I've done quite a lot of it already.
Speaker 1:The other thing is anxiety. That is probably, you know, everyone's anxious nowadays and going to a new place where you don't know anybody, especially if you're young, like when I was 18 or whatever, I had much worse anxiety than I have now. Now I'm chill AF because the drugs calm me down, but basically when you're younger, like anxiety is definitely a bigger thing, I would say. And then you add in alcohol. Right, alcohol makes me severely anxious the next day, not severely like I need to be hospitalised, but like I don't really want to, like, you know, do things. I'm like no, I'm quite happy just lying in bed and not moving for a day, and that kind of ruins it. I would say, unless alcohol does, you know, you're fine with it, like you don't get the anxiety or the fear.
Speaker 1:I actually heard somebody, well so, coming out of hot yoga the other day. I heard somebody crossing the road and talking to their friend and they were like a student and they were talking about anxiety and someone was like what's anxiety? And I was like, oh, anxiety, I get that all the time, my friend. So probably one of the biggest things, like when I was at the festival and the reason why I had such bad anxiety was because I was drinking and then hungover. So you know, if you're anxious already and you don't really know anybody and you know you're trying to look after yourself. Then drinking alcohol it helps initially, but the next day you're going to be dying, okay. So I'm just going to pre-warn you don't drink that much. Try and avoid it if you can, unless you're like on a beach and then you know you can just chill the day after. That's great.
Speaker 1:Crowdedness is another thing. It's not something I struggle with. I would just say if you struggle with crowded places, like avoid the big cities you can do that for sure. I mean, I'm flying into Jakarta. You could easily fly into somewhere else. You know Jakarta's the capital. I think you could fly somewhere that's not the capital. Or you could fly somewhere and then just leave straight away, like just go somewhere that's not crowded, go out for the city. You know you could get a car rather than a what they're called a bus or a train, which are horrendous, horrendously crowded. So I'm okay, as long as I'm like in a good headspace, I'm like okay, I can handle, you know, when I'm like tired and fucking grumpy, I do not want to be faffing about with getting like horrendously crowded trains and shit like that. So, and also things like taxis and stuff are way cheaper in Asian countries, for sure. I think you could also be anxious about your safety, which, yeah, that is a consideration, but I'm not going to talk about that today. I did say I'm going to talk about that in episode three, so stay around for that one, give it a little follow and we'll be back in like a few days.
Speaker 1:I upload Mondays and Thursdays, so bi-weekly. Come and join me next time. So, feeling homesick. When I went to Edinburgh recently for a what's it called conference, I was kind of worried that I would be really, really anxious because I went away the last. The time I went away before that was to the festival.
Speaker 1:So I took a little what I would call like a keepsake with me. I don't know if that's like quite the right word, but it sounds right so I'm gonna use it. Keepsake is basically like a little memento, like a little thing to remind you of home and you're like aw and you can like hold it and you can be like. I know I sound really sappy, don't I? But it's like something that reminds you of home. It might be like a little toy or what else could it be? A picture? That's why people you always see in the films they have like pictures of their kids and shit in their wallets and it's to act as like a reminder of home. And you might get someone that you love to like sign it on the back or I don't know, put their like kiss on it or something. There's something to like make you feel at home, because I don't really get that homesick, but you know it's hard to like tell.
Speaker 1:I always take things that are like my favorite kind of things that make me feel homely. So I'll always take like a UK kind of snack, like it's always good to have a packet of Oreos in your bag, like I know that's not British, probably it's American, I don't know. But you know something that's like you know when you don't wanna eat curry for breakfast because that is the thing, when I went to Vietnam it was fucking curry for breakfast and Malaysia and stuff when you don't wanna eat curry for breakfast and you've had to eat curry for breakfast, you could maybe have an Oreo after and it would make you feel so much better. I don't know, that's just how it works for me. Or you could buy like your favorite item of clothing or something that like smells like your boyfriend or like that reminds me of your dog, or something like that, or you could have a picture of your doggy, or I don't know, or you could. You know stuff like that. I think what we've got now that's really great is like FaceTime, and I think, you know, a long time ago we didn't have those kind of things, or not even a long time ago when I was younger, we didn't have FaceTime, so nowadays, you can just FaceTime. It kind of feels similar. I know it's not the same, but it feels similar.
Speaker 1:Some of the things that you are gonna have to deal with when you're traveling, though, is like time differences and also finding good enough wifi. Generally, you know, you can organize a time when it fits both of you, like it's not impossible. I literally FaceTime to my friend in Australia, not yesterday, the day before, and it was fine. You know, I just called her. It was like late here and it was morning there, so it was like fine, but you just need to like organize a time. Don't expect to like call people and them answer, because it's 5 pm where you are. It might be like 3 am where they are, and I think just, you know, just enjoy yourself. Like you're traveling, you're not gonna experience it again. Well, you will, but, like you know, you're not gonna experience that exact time again.
Speaker 1:I think going with a friend is useful. I think if you're not, you know you're a little bit unsure of your mental health and your mental state and you know your anxiety and whether you're gonna be able to go alone. Try and find a friend to go with and even if it's only for the like first bit of it or stuff like that, and have very flexible plans. You know, don't go and book your flight home in. You know when you book your flight out because you will want to change it. You know, unless you have something you need to come home for, then fine. But generally it's like you know, I'll just come home in two weeks, four weeks, whatever. No, leave it, you can book it when you're out there. If you're having a shit time, book a fly back If you're having a great time, wait a bit, it's fine. Money dependent, obviously. Yeah.
Speaker 1:So next episode we'll be talking about how I look after my physical health whilst traveling, because it's very difficult. You know you're in a different culture, you're in a different country, you're in a different climate and I find that I get a lot of problems and I'm gonna talk about how I fix them Constipation is probably the biggest one for me and exercise as well. So I'm gonna talk about those. Tune in for the next episode and think of me whilst you're listening, because I'll be, I don't know, hopefully lying on a beach somewhere, not getting eaten by a Komodo dragon, but it's highly possible I could also be. You know, they've got active volcanoes in Indonesia, so I could be like singed to a little crispy or well, I don't know, I could have fucking blown up in the airplane or something like that, or I could be fine, I could be lying on a beach or swimming in a swimming pool and just having a great time. So you know, think good thoughts, dawn.
Speaker 1:Anyway, thanks so much for listening. Remember I do upload every Monday and Thursday and bringing your bi-weekly dose of positivity from Dr Dawn Barilo. I hope you've enjoyed today's episode. If you have, please share it with a friend, family or whoever will listen and give it a five-star rating on Spotify podcasts, the Apple podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts. If you are listening on the podcast, by the way, did you know I have a YouTube channel? It's at Dawn Barilo, and if you're listening on the YouTube channel, well, you could just listen to the podcast as well. Like you know, you don't have to watch the video. You can go check it out on Spotify and you know all the podcast places. Anyway, thanks so much. Super appreciate you, and I will speak to you soon. Bye.
