Backseat Positivity
"Able to make serious topics lighthearted and fun - I even laughed at some points!"
Get your bi-weekly dose of positivity in this fun podcast with Dr Dawn Barlow, who helps you navigate all of the weird/best/worst parts of life!
Dawn takes you on the self-improvement journey you didn't realise you needed... Bought to you by a doctor who hasn't had life as sweet as many of her comrades. She knows firsthand just how rubbish life can be, yet has managed to turn her life around for the better!
From relationships to mental health to happiness, make sure you buckle up twice a week (Mondays and Thursdays) the join her and her guests for candid self-improvement. Don't forget of the course, the "weird thoughts" segment, where Dawn and her guests share weird thoughts from their lives.
Dawn says:
Sometimes life reminds me of being in a washing machine. It's a bit spinny and turbulent for a while, but then it stops and gives you a little break before spinning you into oblivion once more. It feels like the washing machine wants to wash something bad out of all of us... positivity.
Some might EVEN say that positivity is shouting from the backseat and no-one wants to listen to it... [backseat positivity] More than once a week, but less than 4 times a week, you can shove me in your auditory canals and listen to me chat about L.I.F.E., self-improvement, mental health and anything else that my little monkey-mind paws can grasp onto.
Sometimes other humans actually dare to join me.
It's candid, it's fun. Woo!
Backseat Positivity
Measuring What Matters in a World Obsessed with Numbers
Ever felt like a prisoner to the numbers flashing on your screen, whether it's the scale, your social feed, or your latest content creation stats? I've been there, too—caught in the whirlwind of measuring self-worth by likes, views, and subscription counts. In a candid admission, I peel back the layers of my own fixation with podcast downloads and YouTube analytics, exposing the toll it takes on mental health. We wade through the murky waters of numerical validation and the quest for content creator accolades, confronting the impact this obsession has on our personal and professional lives. This episode isn't just about the problem; it's a call to action for all of us to redefine success and find healthier ways to engage with the relentless barrage of numbers that dictate our daily routines.
Shifting gears, we tackle the elusive nature of true success. Is it quantifiable? Can we measure fulfillment or contentment? As I reflect on the growth of my YouTube channel and the SMART goals that directed me, we discuss how numbers, while helpful, can overshadow the importance of meaningful interactions. We challenge the notion that success is a destination reached by surpassing a certain numeric threshold and invite you to join the conversation, sharing your own journeys towards finding joy and achievement beyond the digits. Join me as we navigate managing personal obsessions, improving self-worth, and ultimately, redefining what it means to be successful in a world saturated with statistics.
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Is it just me, or are we all obsessed with numbers, like absolutely obsessed. The other day I was at work and there was someone that who had a smartwatch on right. They had come in because their smartwatch had told them that their heart rate was high and whilst we were sorting that problem out on the you know, on the side, they were kind of obsessed with the fact that they, their heart rate, was like a certain number. And I kept being like but look at you, know yourself, you're fine. Like yes, the heart rate is a number. We're sorting that out, that's all in hand. But you can go home, you're, you know? Well, you didn't. You were asymptomatic, you didn't know you, your heart rate was even fast, anyway.
Speaker 1:So then I started to think about my own obsession with numbers and everybody's obsession with numbers, really, because then, funnily enough, ironically, I was actually listening to another podcast that is about podcasting, and then I'm talking about it on my podcast. So it's a little bit confusing, but basically they talked about how create. As creators in particular, we are obsessed with statistics, and I don't think that's just a creative thing, I think that's a human thing. We're like I'm going to talk about some of the other statistics that's a really fucking hard word to say statistics that we are obsessed with. But, in particular, as a creator myself, I am I don't want to say obsessed, but obsessed with numbers. It gets kind of addictive, like. I regularly look at my statistics on my you know how many downloads I've got on my podcast and I look at my analytics on my YouTube page and it's fucking damaging. I'm telling you it's driving me insane and I want to stop doing it, and maybe you know I don't know what to do. So I basically created this podcast episode to talk about how we can get over our obsession with numbers, because on this podcast episode that I was listening to, they were basically saying about how some people take their Instagram posts down because they don't get enough likes or enough engagement or whatever, and I was like that's insane. I've never taken a post down because of its lack of engagement. You know, some of my YouTube videos have got not many views at all, but I leave them up and there are some of one in particular that I've taken down and that is because I didn't give off a very good like positive vibe and I didn't like that. So I took it down, but it wasn't because of the numbers, in fact, actually, ironically, it was actually doing really well so because it was negative and so I took it down and anyway, I definitely put some of my obsession with numbers, so I definitely put some of my like eating issues down to the fact that I did get quite obsessed with, in particular, my body weight and, in particular, calories, counting calories.
Speaker 1:Now there are other number based numbers, what? There are other number based, what would I call it Number based measurements that we count aren't there. Like steps, okay, that's a particular one. Everyone's like I need to get 10,000 steps a day or I'm a lazy bitch. Not necessarily the case. Like 10,000 is great, but like I, I struggled to hit six, I'm not going to lie, but obviously I go to the gym as well. So it's, you know, not completely accurate, but I think in today's modern society, like I don't have time to be walking around 10,000 steps. Like it takes like an hour of, maybe even an hour and a half of walking. I swear, it's so fucking long. So what are the ones? Steps size, like we don't just have medium, small, large, extra large. We have like size 8, 10, 12, 16. Calories is another one, weight is a particularly common one, and now I think we're starting to get a bit obsessed with other things, such as Instagram likes, views on Line Did I go viral or not?
Speaker 1:And it's so hard because, being a creator I know, not everybody who listens to my podcast is a creator but like and I don't want to sound like a moany bitch, but it is really hard to like look at numbers. And I actually got sent a product the other day which I was super fucking grateful for. But I'm also like, I feel kind of like a like not good enough to be receiving products Like. I'm like. You know, my channel is not getting, you know, millions of views Like, why would anybody want to? You know, send me stuff Like and I'm just, I don't know. I'm really. I constantly have this battle of like. Why am I? We're not constantly. It's definitely gotten less. I'm less obsessed with it now. I used to be more obsessed with it, but like this constant sort of battle of being like, you know I oh sorry, I just yord I'm not good enough. Like, why am I doing this? And then I think you could also get the same.
Speaker 1:You know, some people might be obsessed with Instagram likes or Instagram comments or something like that, and I'm just like, wow, that's oh. Now I've just set the dogs off because I'm trying to shut Tom up and you know he's shouting next door and I'm knocking on the wall. So I just don't think that's necessarily a healthy place to be. And I'm trying to figure out, you know, how to manage this, and not just with regards to like views on my YouTube channel or downloads, but also I'm trying to lose weight at the moment and I'm trying to like figure out a way to do that in a like healthy manner and not be completely obsessed and be driven by a number. So here is how to do it. This is how I'm doing it anyway.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about the issues to start with. Firstly, what I've noticed is it's a very short high. It's like a kind of buzz. You know, you post something, you get views and you get validation, and it's like short term and you're like, and it like feels exciting and like good, and it's the same. You know, I'm talking about any kind of thing here, any kind of like number based thing or, you know, number based result. You know, you lose a bit of weight on the scale and it's like, oh God and maybe it's just me, maybe you're not getting that as well, I don't know, but I get this like actual palpable feeling of excitement and it's like I can feel the dopamine being released in my brain. It's like pfft.
Speaker 1:So I don't think that's a great place to be, because it's a bit like an adrenaline rush An adrenaline rush for, like, views and stuff like that. And it's short term, like there's no fucking point in it. It's short term and it just goes away as quickly as it comes and you're like well, now I've got to do it again, right? And that is the problem is it keeps upping and upping and upping. Where are these yordes coming from? Fuck, you know, I was like three in a row. It just keeps increasing and increasing and increasing. Until where do you go? What, like? You know, when you start getting more views on your channel, then you're like well, now I need to get a million views, now I need to. Now I've got a million, now I need to get two million. Like. And news keeps increasing and increasing.
Speaker 1:And that's what the people on this podcast were talking about. They were like you know, you know, maybe 1000 downloads per episode sounds like a lot and that is a lot in podcast world. Okay, I know it's not a lot in video world, but in podcast world that is a lot of downloads per episode. And maybe that seems inconceivable now, but then when you reach it and you're like, wow, this is so great, I got a thousand, but what next? Right, so now I reached for 2000 downloads an episode. And then you reach that and you're like, okay, done, what next?
Speaker 1:And it's like this never-ending Ending because numbers go on forever, they don't stop unless you go to zero, you know, and it's like your weight and then your zero kilos, like you can't be zero kilos. So you know, the numbers go on forever. It will never stop and you'll keep chasing it and keep chasing it. And it's the short-term high of like, and then Clums, crashing straight back down. And also it's like this lose, lose situation because you get either get this really short-term high and then you kind of feel a bit like Afterwards and you want more, or you get this really like sinking, feeling of like, oh, wow, I didn't fucking letting go how I planned whatsoever. So it's. It's like kind of a lose, lose situation and even if you do feel good about it, how long does it last? Like really, how long does it last?
Speaker 1:I don't really know, unless you know you reached a goal and that was the end of the road. That was, you know, reached a goal and that was the end of it. Like I don't know what that would be, maybe like a marathon, but then you just go for the next marathon, right? You go for the next one and you're like, okay, well, now I'll go for under four hours, rather than like four hours and five minutes, I'm gonna go for under four hours. So you know, that's the kind of problem You're never fulfilled and it's empty void that you're never gonna fill.
Speaker 1:So what I've noticed is my videos are I have been focusing on like, what's my weight going to be? Rather, because, right, firstly, it's tangible. It's like a smart goal, right, specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and testable. Is that the T? I can't remember what the T is now. Anyway, it's a smart goal.
Speaker 1:That's like the best kind of goal because you know that you've achieved it or you know that you haven't, whereas if it's kind of like I want to feel good, like how do you know when you feel good? Like you know when you've reached 90 kilos right In weight, because the scale tells you so. Right, but when? How do you know when you feel better, like I just don't, and it's really hard to convey that as well over in a video, like I lost weight and now I feel good, whereas you can just be like I lost weight and I lost this much, and I'm trying to like figure out a way of getting around that.
Speaker 1:And I also want to figure out a way of not focusing on, like specifically calorie numbers, which might be hard because I just don't want to encourage, like eating disorder patterns and it might be tricky. But what I'm thinking is I do something called meps instead, which is like movement points or something which is like you've done this much like physical activity rather than you've burned this many calories. But calories is more of a universal, universal measurement unit of measurement, like people know what calories are, right? So I don't know, and that's kind of the issue with what I'm, you know, the the sphere that I'm kind of going down with my videos. That is kind of the issue, right.
Speaker 1:So how are we going to get over this? This is what I'm, you know, trying to figure out myself and maybe you've got an answer. You could give me an answer. Put it in the comments like do you have an answer of what you would do or how you would get over this, or do you have any extra like bits or like bits of advice? That would be super helpful Because, you know, I'm not a messiah. I don't know if that's the right word. I'm not a messiah, I don't know the answers to everything, but I like to think I'm slowly figuring things out just over time.
Speaker 1:So I guess we need to find another way to measure our success and I'm trying to think of what my measurement of success is, let's say, on my YouTube channel, because whatever you can go and like see that you can, that's like a tangible thing, right? So at the moment I've got 1,513, so, very specific, my measurement of success like I don't the problem is really a measurement of success nowadays is like a million subscribers Like that is most people's goal, I would say, and firstly, it feels not unachievable but like very far away. If you look at my upward trend, like it is very like straight and if you know that's going to take years unless it starts going like more exponential, that's going to take a really long time and I hate to think that I'm doing it just to chase, you know success, but like I don't, I don't know, I don't know Like I do it because I like making the videos, but I mean, obviously there's probably an element of I would like it to succeed, right. But I'm trying to figure out another way of help of like measuring my success rather than just being like, okay, I want a million subscribers, because I don't necessarily think that means anything. Like there are people on TikTok who probably have millions of subscribers, but like do they have much engagement with their subscribers? Like do they not know them? But like do they interact with them? Do they, you know, comment? Like what's the engagement with those people? Like I don't know. So you know, and also I think you know short form videos is quite hard to get people involved and like engaged with your content. Yes, you can like it really quickly, maybe comment, but like then you move on right, then that's the next thing. So I'm trying I guess I'm trying to.
Speaker 1:Firstly, I'm trying to get out of that mindset of like chasing a number. I want to feel happy about doing it and relax about doing it. Like that is one of my goals and I think one of my issues to start with was like I was like clearly, chasing numbers, because I was obsessed with, you know, or I'd feel sad about not hitting certain numbers or things like that. Now I kind of am taking a more relaxed approach where I would just I just want to feel, you know, happy about the situation. It doesn't necessarily mean that it needs to be like zooming upwards, but I do look at other YouTubers, obviously, and I think, like why, you know they, they've got more success than me. But then actually, I've been seeing recently some YouTubers that have come up on my homepage and I'm like, you know, youtube's showing me smaller channels.
Speaker 1:So it's like it's not like there aren't other people there, but it's that there are. You know, there are lots of people and you just got to keep getting shown the videos. You know, the videos getting shown, your videos need to keep getting shown to people or getting searched. So and I'm definitely figuring it out but and it's been a journey it's been a journey, but I don't want to get to a place where I'm constantly like seeking the next thing. You know like, oh, okay, fine, I've reached a million subscribers, what next? So I'm trying to just chill out a bit. I think that's the first thing is just chilling out. I'm like right, it's. You know, it doesn't matter too much, does it? It doesn't matter hugely. Like we're chill, we're chill.
Speaker 1:Another thing that I would like to aim for is to like meet a certain person or be like invited onto a certain podcast. I haven't got an idea yet. I haven't got an idea, but I think it's good to come up with goals that are like interaction with another human or, you know, let's say, you're obsessed with your weight as a number, right? So I'm trying to think like maybe you would want to be happy to go and do a photo shoot on a beach or something, and that's like your goal. Like I would want to feel comfortable going and having a photo shoot of me on a beach with my whole body in the photo frame, because you don't necessarily need to like be naked or in a bikini, but, like you know, just feeling happy about it and feeling like sexy and cute, you know, rather than being like, oh, my God, I can't imagine anything worse. So I'll tell you what that would be one of my goals, because I'm like, oh, can I do I feel good about it. Um, I would want some good lighting. Let's put it that way, because lighting can be thoroughly unflattering if you get it at the wrong angle, oh dear. So, um, yeah, feeling a certain way about something, or having like a connection, like I said.
Speaker 1:Like, for me, that would be, um, maybe, with weight. It could be like I'd like to meet a weightl like someone at the gym and I can like exercise with, or I'd like to socialise more at the gym, rather than I'm trying to think of one that's more like weight loss-based, but I can't really. Maybe it's like, um, I lose enough weight that I feel comfortable to go out on a date or ask somebody out on a date. I don't know, like I don't want your self-worth to be just like determined by how much you weigh, though that's the problem. So, yeah, maybe it's like I lose, um, maybe it's I lose enough weight that I can fit back into these trousers that I had. I don't know, is that a number-based thing? Again, though, it's really tricky. It's so hard, um, to find goals that aren't like obsessed with numbers.
Speaker 1:So I actually have another Instagram. Okay, I don't know if I've ever told you this, probably not. My other Instagram let me get it up is called. I don't know if I changed the name of it. Um, yeah, it's still called Bristol Vlogs. It's got one follower. I literally don't give a shit whatsoever, like I literally don't care, and it's called Bristol Vlogs and I tell you what. I just like looking at it and it makes me kind of happy to look at and it's a really I'm telling you should have more followers than it does because it's kind of it's like a really cute Instagram to look at. But I don't, I put it there for myself because the pictures make me happy, like.
Speaker 1:This one is of a donkey's head. I think that's fucking cute AF. This one is a camel's mouth. I'm insane. This one's actually one of those like mirrors on the ceiling and it's in the hospital and I just thought it looked really cool and it's like really symmetrical and I liked it. Um, this one is a goat. Um, this one's just like really quite um, aesthetic. It's of some gym bottles and some ivy. And this one I actually um took in Bristol and it's of a statue of a fish with glasses on. So I mean you could go check it out if you want, but I'm just I'm not like I've even got macaroni Maca fucking Rony macaroni cheese. Not the it's got no cheese on it.
Speaker 1:I called it Mac and Maggot because my Mac I took the Maggot out of it but there was a fucking dead Maggot in it. There was a dead Maggot in my Mac, so I called it Mac and Maggot. It makes no sense to anyone except me, and I just think it's really funny. And then there's a really cute doggy and a cute donkey and then, like, just loads of really cute stuff, and then some nice videos I and then a sunset oh my god, I just liked my own I just liked my own sunset picture. I didn't mean to do that, but I'm not gonna remove it. Um, yeah, it's just I just like it.
Speaker 1:So maybe we should just be basic you know, I just like that. It's not like I'm doing it because I want people to follow it. In fact, I really don't give a shit. I'm doing it for myself, because I kind of just like how it looks. And you know, I get joy from just going on my own Instagram Not my personal one, my photography one and just looking at things and going, oh that's pretty cool and that I like that I like that. That is how that makes me feel. So we can go for feelings, we can go for connection, we can go for a non-numbers-based goal. So I want to it'd be nice to I don't know. Um, no one's ever like I want to swim with sharks five times. Everyone's just like. I'd quite like to swim with sharks. Maybe just once is fine, just I'd like to swim with sharks at the end. No number Swim with sharks at the end, so we'll meet a certain person. That's kind of in-connect. So those are my kind of vibes.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to figure it out and I'm trying to think right, what with my weight loss? Where do I want to get? I do want to get like down to a certain weight, but I just doesn't really seem fucking feasible at the moment because my body is like no lady, you're not losing any more weight. But I would generally just like to feel better, like I would like to be able to go for a run and not feel like I am carrying a load of lead around with me. That would be nice. Like at the moment, going for a run kind of seems extremely arduous. I'm like how could I possibly run at the weight that I'm at now? Like I could do it if there was a lion chasing after me. But I'm not going to actively go out for a run, because it seems like torture. My poor little knees won't handle it. So that's what I would like to lose weight, to feel healthier.
Speaker 1:Anyway, have you guys got any obsessions or how are you, you know, managing those? Or is that even an issue Like let me know Comments down below? And also, you know, if you're listening on the podcast, please give it a, you know, a five-star rating or, you know, share it with somebody. That would be super great. I upload every Monday and Thursdays and I am trying to make the world a slightly more positive place. And, um, yeah, thanks so much for listening and well done for making it to the end, because I'm going to give you your little kissy now. So that's your reward, that's your well done. Bye, see you soon.
