Backseat Positivity
"Able to make serious topics lighthearted and fun - I even laughed at some points!"
Get your bi-weekly dose of positivity in this fun podcast with Dr Dawn Barlow, who helps you navigate all of the weird/best/worst parts of life!
Dawn takes you on the self-improvement journey you didn't realise you needed... Bought to you by a doctor who hasn't had life as sweet as many of her comrades. She knows firsthand just how rubbish life can be, yet has managed to turn her life around for the better!
From relationships to mental health to happiness, make sure you buckle up twice a week (Mondays and Thursdays) the join her and her guests for candid self-improvement. Don't forget of the course, the "weird thoughts" segment, where Dawn and her guests share weird thoughts from their lives.
Dawn says:
Sometimes life reminds me of being in a washing machine. It's a bit spinny and turbulent for a while, but then it stops and gives you a little break before spinning you into oblivion once more. It feels like the washing machine wants to wash something bad out of all of us... positivity.
Some might EVEN say that positivity is shouting from the backseat and no-one wants to listen to it... [backseat positivity] More than once a week, but less than 4 times a week, you can shove me in your auditory canals and listen to me chat about L.I.F.E., self-improvement, mental health and anything else that my little monkey-mind paws can grasp onto.
Sometimes other humans actually dare to join me.
It's candid, it's fun. Woo!
Backseat Positivity
How To Travel Alone and Be Happy About It.
Embark on a transformational tale as I recount the metamorphosis from a hesitant university student to a passionate solo traveler, now gearing up for an Indonesian escapade. The art of selecting destinations becomes clear, steering away from the lonely shadows of couples' resorts and towards the warm embrace of Southeast Asia's inclusive culture. By sharing my own experiences, like the time I scaled the Rock of Gibraltar, came face-to-face with its mischievous monkeys, and navigated the solitude of an Airbnb, you'll see how solo travel reshapes perspectives on independence and connection.
Get ready for the inside scoop on why hostels are the solo traveler's secret weapon for forging friendships and the unexpected, yet lasting bonds formed with fellow wanderers, including a group of Navy guys I met along the way. From utilizing apps like Get a Guide to find that perfect blend of privacy and social interaction, to choosing private hostel rooms for a touch of solitude amidst a sea of new acquaintances, this episode is your guide to stitching a rich tapestry of solo adventures. Tune in and discover a world where every solo journey writes its own vibrant narrative, and the connections you make are as unforgettable as the places you visit.
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This is my podcast. This is my episode about traveling alone and being happy about it, because some of us might be forced to travel alone and might not be happy about it. I've done quite a lot of traveling alone. I'm about to leave not about to but in eight days time I am traveling alone to Indonesia and I'm gonna spend about just over a week there on my own, and I'm fucking happy about it. Let me tell you I'm excited. I think I've learned over the years how to be happy about traveling alone and I think initially I probably wouldn't have done it. You know, initially, talking like when I was in university, I don't think I did any. No, I never traveled alone. I always traveled with other people. So I've come a long way and I want to share my ways with you Because I think you can be happy when you're traveling alone. So let's get into it.
Speaker 1:Firstly, I think you have to choose your location pretty wisely. Number one I have been to a festival I was gonna say plural, a festival on my own and I pretty much had like severe anxiety not severe like need hospitalization, but severe as in I did not feel good. I was like I wanna leave. I really contemplated leaving and early, and I didn't in the end. There's actually a video about it on my main channel, at Dawn Barlow on my YouTube channel and you can go watch it if you want. It's quite a popular video actually for my channel. And, yeah, because I think it's quite an unusual thing to do go to a festival on your own. So I think choosing what kind of thing you're doing on your own is quite important. For instance, don't go to a festival on your own If you're thinking about like you're probably not. I'm pretty sure no one has ever in this world thought let's go to a festival on my own and I'll be happy about it. No, it's pretty much a challenge. It is a challenge. That was a challenge vlog. Basically I thought it would be really fun and it just wasn't. It was kind of terrifying and very anxiety provoking and I was like what am I doing here? I'm fucking weird. I'm here on my own and everyone was like everyone that I met there was like wow, you're so brave that was always the word. You're so brave. I'm like, yeah, now I've come out the other end of it. I'm like, yes, I was brave, so bloody brave, because I the thing is, I'm like I wouldn't do it again in my head, but I'm like I might. I might do it again because I the problem with memories is that it's never as bad in your head as it was at the time. At the time I was like get me out of here, I want to die. And now I'm like maybe it'd be fun to do it again and see like how I've learned from that experience and like how I've evolved. But then it's like what are you doing? Why are you doing that to yourself? So probably not.
Speaker 1:But there are other locations where you can travel to abroad that are equally not as welcoming but probably not as terrifying. Let's say, don't go traveling to places like the Maldives. I'm not saying that's like a place that you shouldn't go on your own, but I'm saying I probably wouldn't go there on my own. I wouldn't go to places that are obviously very honeymoony and you're gonna feel like an absolute 1000th and one wheel what 1000 and first wheel Like there's gonna be loads of couples there and you're just gonna be like cool, I'm here too. I probably also wouldn't go to like places like Benidorm, like party destinations I probably wouldn't go to on my own but where I would say to go on your own are the common traveling destinations, for instance, southeast Asia. Everyone goes there alone, so it's fine. You're kind of everyone's like in it together and you're like, yeah, you're on your own, I'm on my own, it's all good, baby. But I mean there will be some people who are in couples or like you know, not together, but like they've travelled together, friends or like groups. But that's fine because it's like people are in a mindset of inclusivity and welcoming and it's kind of not a weird thing to go traveling on your own.
Speaker 1:However, when I went to the festival on my own, it's a weird thing. People think you're weird. I think people were saying you're brave, but like in their heads they were like you're weird, she's weird, what's she doing? To be honest, it was more of like a challenge to myself, like could I do it? And also I thought I might enjoy it and very much discovered that I would not enjoy it Pretty much. Like the first minute I was there I was like what am I doing? Why have I done this? Anyway, thankfully, traveling is not always like that. So, yeah, places like Europe, there were lots of people travelling on their own. There were also lots of people travelling in groups, but I would say the groups are like way more like everyone's just like, yeah, let's do stuff together. Let's like do stuff, do fun stuff together. Let's like hang out and like it's not this weird like, oh my gosh, she's here on her own, what a freak. So that's always great.
Speaker 1:The next thing is the kind of place to stay. Now I went to Gibraltar on my own because I was like it was over lockdown. Well, not lockdown, but like you know, it was sort of it was over the pandemic, but not the lockdown. Like we could travel. But also Gibraltar is part of the UK. So I was like let's go and I didn't need to like worry about getting a Covid test and blah, blah, blah before I went, because apparently it's not abroad. So I don't know Colonialism at its finest there. So I tell you what, though, the Gibraltans very much feel like a British outpouching and they don't. They don't sort of hate British nests and British people. So it's kind of this weird like are you sure you don't hate British people? Because we did kind of like take over your land and you know colonies and shit, but I don't know, they seem to want to speak English and it's a bit confusing, but whatever, that's obviously their, their prerogative.
Speaker 1:So I was kind of expecting to go there and it'd be like you know, it's a really small place, by the way like I travelled the whole place. It wasn't I did it all in in like two hours. You, you can cycle on. It was on a, um, electric bike. You can cycle on an electric bike around the whole thing, probably in an hour, I would say. But I stopped off and I looked at stuff and I went alternative routes. I didn't just go like, right, let's get this done as quickly as possible, like it was a nice little excursion. I tell you what I quite liked it. I did it on my own, I enjoyed it very much, so but the issue was I was getting to the point right.
Speaker 1:Firstly, I actually booked into a hostel and Tom, my boyfriend, was like Dohan, why are you booking into a hostel? Like, are you sure you want to do that? Is it safe? And then what I didn't realise was that at the time it was like the World Cup or something Everyone was like there, I don't know. Something was happening, some kind of football event, I think it was the World Cup, and basically all of the hotels and hostels had like been booked out. So I had one hostel to choose from and I couldn't go over to Spain and, like you know, even though it was literally like 50 metres away, I couldn't go over there because it's abroad in inverted commas. So I had to stay in Gibraltar, like I couldn't stay in Spain and then come back over. So it's classed as a different country, yeah, anyway. So basically I booked this hostel and then Tom was, like you know, had a look at it and he was like are you sure you want to stay there?
Speaker 1:And there were lots of comments like isn't safe, a bit grubby, a bit gross, and that's kind of one of my things that I look for now is like the reviews of the places Very much. So I will look up the words specifically unsafe or safety, or you know. Do you know what I mean Like those kind of words, because as a lone female maybe males aren't as terrified of, you know, being attacked as I am but or as a female is I don't know, because I'm not a man, but it could be the case but I think as a female you do feel particularly vulnerable, especially like I could put up a good fight. Like don't get me wrong, this, this gal strong. Ok, I don't know if you know, but I did used to be like I keep trying to say professional. I used to be a weightlifter, right. So gal has muscles and strength. But if you got a couple of guys that were quite big, like I don't know, I'm not very good at being hit in the head, so I did get kicked in the head once. A cartwheel, someone cartwheeled into my head and I nearly passed out. So I was, you know. If somebody hit me over the head and three or two men, big men, held me down, like I don't think I stand much of a chance. So apparently I'm quite, I'm quite desirable Is that the word? I'm quite desirable because I'm female and I don't know.
Speaker 1:I was going to say something really crude, but I actually stopped myself, I actually didn't say it. So congratulations to me. I didn't say the horrible things that were going through my head. So, anyway, I decided not to stay in that hostel and what I did instead was I stayed in an Airbnb. There was a lady there and she was very nice and I stayed in her like spare room, which was fine, but we did not really socialize together, like we talked a bit and then she would just go off and do her own thing, which is fine, like she's got her own life. But I was also like I want a friend, I want someone to hang out with, I want someone to talk to and I did feel quite lonely and what happened was I ended up walking down to the beach and there are loads of British people there because there's a navy base there and lots of British people go there. But what I did the first night was I went. This is kind of sad.
Speaker 1:Now the thing is going out on your own, like out out, like on a night out, is kind of a bit tragic. But I did it anyway and there was I don't remember if there was live music. Oh, there was a DJ. I remember now there was a DJ and I was like vibing to it and I was vibing to it and everyone was clearly like there to have a good time and like get drunk and it was kind of a bit like Magaluf or something like the place that I was like a bit like Ibiza, really like very party vibes and that was great. But I was on my own and I wasn't drunk enough. I had like a couple of drinks, but nothing crazy. I wasn't drunk enough to like start going and speaking to people, so nobody spoke to me, nobody even looked at me, I don't think. So I was kind of like cool, it wasn't like the kind of place that you can penetrate, if you see what I mean.
Speaker 1:There's kind of there are situations that are penetrable and impenetrable, and obviously it's very much a personal thing Like, yes, if I had more confidence and it's not that I'm not confident, but it's like I don't wanna, you know, intrude on someone's social situation and be like hi, I'm on my own, do you wanna play with me? Because they might not wanna play with me and they might wanna be doing their own thing. You know, I'm just like a random person that then they might feel like they have to like look after me or something. Probably not, but anyway I don't wanna be like a liability to someone who's having a good time. So I, unless I'm super drunk, I won't tend to in, you know, push myself into that kind of situation. So what you can, either what you can do is get really drunk, which is dangerous when you're on your own in a foreign country, or you can just accept it and or you could, if you know, if you're confident enough to just go and like start talking to people or like dance or whatever, then fine, I was not in that place, sadly. So I. So I say what I still had a good time, like it wasn't like I didn't have a good time, but I was still. You know, I wasn't in that space. So it was fine during the day, like when I could occupy myself.
Speaker 1:But the thing is, in Gibraltar there's really not that much to do, but I only went for like three or four days. I didn't go for a long time, but there's not that much to do. You know, there's beach, there's a few cafes and shops, and then that's kind of it Like, oh, then there was that like mountain rock thing that you can climb up, which I did do. That was also terrifying, because there's those monkeys and a really thin track that I went up and there was a monkey sat on the steps and I was like, oh my God, can I get past this monkey? Like, is it gonna eat my ankles? It definitely could have done. That's how close I got, like literally a few fucking inches away. So if it wanted to go for me, it could have done and I was pretty scared but it didn't. It was like chill, it was just fine. I think it was like, for God's sake, lady, just go past me. Ooh, ah, ooh, ah, ah. So I think it's so used to humans, it just didn't really care.
Speaker 1:But I was like you know, when you're on your own and you're like, if I get bitten by a monkey, this is like thoroughly not ideal. So yeah, I think it definitely like changes how you act when you travel alone, because when you're with other people, you kind of feel like you have a bit of a safety net, like I can get drunk and like it's fine. I can get bitten by a monkey and it's fine. But when you're on your own, you're like no one's looking after me and that's kind of like not what I need looking after, but it's like nice to have that protection, even though I'm in like a public place. But still, that was a fear of mine. So probably one of my biggest regrets from now I wouldn't say it was a regret, but one of my biggest like issues from that was that I stayed in an Airbnb and I felt quite lonely because of that.
Speaker 1:Now, next time I go traveling I want to stay. I'm gonna stay in like a hotel for a bit and then I'm probably gonna go into hostels. They're just so much more social and you can just find. You know, if you wanna be on your own, even if you're staying in a hostel, that's fine. You can actually just go and do your own thing. But if you know you feel that need to be with other people or talk to other people, even if it's just a breakfast or like at dinner or you wanna join in on a social activity, then they're there. You can just be like hi, I'm Dawn, I'm from England and I wanna party tonight. Is there any parties going on? So it's easy, like they're right there. But if you're in an Airbnb on your own, like good luck trying to find someone who will take you in.
Speaker 1:I tell you what, though when I was in Gibraltar, I did find a group of three were they three or four, maybe four guys that were in the Navy. They were British, and I had like food with them, I had like lunch with them, and then Did we do something in the evening? I really can't remember, but anyway, I spent like the whole day with them, and then that was kind of it, so I wasn't completely on my own. But then you know they we both went our separate ways and that was kind of it. So there we go. I Think the good thing about hostels is they've often got like activities on in the daytime or the evening or social events and you can go and join them.
Speaker 1:And then there are other people there who were like yes, I am, I am signing up here to socialize with people that I don't know. And that's the thing is, you have people that are Like basically putting themselves forward, like yes, I'm fine to talk to people I don't know, whereas when you're in like a random bar, like walking up to random people that you don't know and you don't know if they've really signed up for random girl coming up and speaking to them and Seeing if it's okay to you know talk to them, and Also you don't know what they're like. Until you've kind of got into that situation, then you're like how do I get out of this situation? So yeah, I think this is the best way, honestly. Next is activities. Like I said, you can book hostel activities Thoroughly recommend if you are traveling on your own, and you can actually get private rooms in hostels and they're still pretty cheap, like so why not?
Speaker 1:You know, I'm going to Asia and one of the private rooms was seven pounds a night and I was like Obviously it's not top of the range. But I was like fuck me, that's crazy. You get your own space. Yes, you have to share a bathroom. I don't really care about that. I Want my own space where I can close my eyes and not feel like someone is looking at me, because I don't mind staying in a room with lots of people if there's like a curtain. But like when I stayed in a hostel recently in Edinburgh, they had a curtain and it was great and you could like close the pod, basically. But when I have been in other hostels, they just have like it's just like an open bunk bed and you're like Putting a towel up, playing. Oh god, I don't want people to be like watching me sleep, like it's just a weird vibe. Furthermore, I also book events on all like guided tours on Get a guide. It's like a website, but there's also an app and you can basically book excursions on that.
Speaker 1:Now, sometimes that can fulfill your need for social interaction and there's other people on the trip. Then you can talk to them because you have something in common and that's fine. And then you leave afterwards and you go okay, I'm I'm all socialed up for the day. I can carry on on my own. But also Sometimes, after the trip, you might end up meeting people that you like and then you just end up doing stuff with them after, and that's happened to me quite a few times, I would say, and it's also happened to me where I've if you just leave yourself kind of open to Possibilities, anything can happen not anything, but lots of things can happen.
Speaker 1:So I've been in hostels before or like traveling, and there's been people and we, you just get talking, and then they go oh, I really want to go to the what the steps tomorrow. There's lots of steps in lots of countries that you can go visit and You're like, oh, yeah, no, I wanted to go to that as well. And then they or you go do you want to go together? And you're like, yeah, okay. So then you end up going together the next day and you make plans and it's really cute, and then, if you like them, you can Carry on your travels. If you've got no like set plans, you can carry on your travels with them.
Speaker 1:I've missed so many people just by doing that, like not people that I've necessarily kept in touch with, and that's fine, but like people that and even with my friend, like we would meet when we went to traveling together in Vietnam we would meet like another couple, oh, or like another person, and we would just go and do stuff together generally another couple, because then it's like not three's a crowd, and then it just ends up like being more fun because you're spending more time with different people as well. So maybe you're not. I was going to say maybe you're fine with being a loner whilst you're traveling. But I mean, if you're listening to this podcast episode, I'm getting the feeling that you're probably you know you're a bit more social, but you're a bit scared about being alone on your travels. So, yeah, I realised that was a completely moot point.
Speaker 1:I think if you're yeah, you just like have a go with the flow attitude, like I've definitely done that so many times, you've been like, like I've been, I've done escape rooms with like random people I've been on just like loads of shit. You're like, oh, do you want to go for food? And then you just end up going for food with these randos and it's kind of fun because you get to meet so many different people. But also the best part is that if you don't like each other, like it doesn't matter, because you can just end it. You can leave, you can move on, you can go. It was nice to meet you and then that's the end of it. Or if you're just done with socialising, you can go. It was nice to meet you. I'm going to bed now, whereas if you're with your friend, like before, I've just had times where you kind of you're kind of like in each other's space, you know, and you're like I kind of want to be alone, but also I'm with my friend. So I don't know how to do that. And I tell you what, me and my friend, when we went to Vietnam, we had a really great time when we spent one day apart and it was really great because we were like oh, we can finally breathe and not be in each other's like hair, but then we would reunite at the end of the day and it would be good again.
Speaker 1:I think some of the worst bits are being bored, but, like I always say, only boring people get bored. Guys like if you're bored, you just got to find something to do. It's not that difficult. There's always something to do when you're traveling. Like you don't need to be bored. I don't really see that as necessarily a problem, I think feeling lonely or left out. Well, I've basically covered that one. So good luck using that advice and I would say probably airports are my least favourite place to be when I'm traveling, mainly because you can't leave your bags alone and that's kind of annoying.
Speaker 1:You're like I want to go to the toilet. I don't want to take my suitcase and two bags with me, I want to just leave it here. But people get weird if you leave bags in the airport, so you kind of have to take more with you, and then they don't make the cubicles significantly bigger. So you're there with your suitcase or your backpack or whatever, trying to like wheel it around the corner and like get in and like, oh God, it's just really annoying. So thankfully, when you do check your stuff in, that helps, but like it's still frustrating. Like you've got all your stuff out. You know you're waiting for the airplane or whatever and you've got all your stuff out and then you have to like pack it all up. Just make it a planned thing, right you, if you're walking past the toilet, go to the toilet then, and then you can sit down and chill out, but it is kind of annoying, I get it. I would also say I mean this is kind of a given right.
Speaker 1:Take entertainment for your traveling times, like I don't know. This is kind of why I got my iPad so that I could use it for, like watching stuff, downloading stuff onto it, watching stuff and, you know, just generally enjoying life, like enjoying that time where you're kind of just doing nothing. And airports can be quite boring, I will admit. But at least they've got Wi-Fi apparently quite unsafe Wi-Fi, though, so I don't know about that one. But yeah, they've got shops. I plan on doing some bikini shopping in the airport when I get there, so that's going to be on my list. I'm going to go to Accessorize and, yeah, I do have quite a few flights. I've got three flights out there, so, because I'm actually flying to London, which is just like an absolute ball of move, so, but I'm doing that because it actually worked out cheaper and easier. So, yeah, the last thing is safety.
Speaker 1:I think I'm going to do a whole episode on this, to be honest, so I'm not going to like, cover it extensively, but if you want to listen to that one, please stay tuned. I upload every Monday and Thursday and I'm still uploading whilst I'm traveling. I'm this episode is going to go out whilst I'm traveling, so how crazy is that? And the last three episodes I've recorded are also going to be going out whilst I'm out there, but there's going to be eight. I'm trying to get eight done, which is insane, because I've done one, two, three, four. This is my fourth and I've still got four more to do, so I don't know if that's going to happen in how long is it now? Oh, I still got eight days, but I am working, so good luck to me.
Speaker 1:Anyway, guys, if you enjoyed that or found it of some benefit, then please interact with the, the channel or wherever you're listening. If you're listening on the podcast, interact, give it a rating or share it or follow it. If I would prefer it, if you gave it like a rating, that would be super useful. Like, generally, five stars would be nice. And if you're listening on, watching on YouTube or listening on YouTube, you can give it a like, comment, yeah, comment what you do when you travel alone. How do you make it more tolerable, and I tell you what it doesn't have to be a sad situation like.
Speaker 1:I'm kind of looking forward to it. To be honest, I live with. I've got two dogs. I live with my boyfriend. I kind of just want to be alone for a bit. I know that traveling is not like an alone thing, because you have to go through the hell of sitting on a fucking chicken coop, um plane for 24 hours or whatever, but I kind of don't.
Speaker 1:I don't mind the idea of sitting in a hotel room on my own for the minute, and also I forgot to mention this but you can do what you want, right? If someone else is hungry, you've got to go and get food. If you're not hungry and it's like, oh god, your timings aren't matching up. This was probably one of the biggest problems when Tom and I went to Tenerife recently, because I basically don't eat that much and he eats all the time, so we were constantly going for food and I just didn't need food, so I was just sitting there watching him eat and that was really sad. So the one thing I am excited about is basically going and doing my own thing and basically like not having to march to the beat of someone else's drum. Is that the phrase? Anyway, I'm looking forward to just doing my own thing, and then I'm meeting my friends in the Philippines, so it's not all doom and gloom, you know. Anyway. Thanks so much for listening, guys, and I will see you. I'll speak to you in the next episode. Bye.
